For several years I have had the joy and privilege of being part of the work God is doing in Niger, Africa. Niger is primarily a Muslim nation and one of the poorest in Africa. A widespread health problem in Niger affects mostly young women. These women were often married off at 12 or 13 years old and became pregnant before their bodies were ready. Unable to get to a doctor to have a C-section, they suffered a devastating childbirth injury called an obstetric fistula that has left them incontinent, leaking urine and sometimes feces. Many of them have been sent away by their husbands, and many have endured years of ostracism and ridicule. A few years ago, our church partnered with the Worldwide Fistula Fund and Servants in Mission (SIM) to build a hospital in a remote village in southern Niger, called Danja, where these women could come and receive a simple surgery to repair their injuries and return to normal life. One of the doctors, Dr. Steve Arrowsmith, has become a good friend and is legendary in Africa for his fistula work. He has now trained an African doctor to do many of the surgeries. I had the opportunity to serve there a couple of years ago with my daughter Kimberly, and it was an unforgettable experience. Just this past week, Nicholas Kristof, wrote an excellent column in the New York Times about this very hospital and you can read more here. It makes me grateful to be part of a church that is making a difference in the name of Jesus.
Is Retirement in the Bible?
I have often heard that retirement isn’t in the Bible. I agree with that insofar as we should all press on to serve Christ until the very end. I love what the Apostle Paul said about this. In the very last New Testament letter he wrote, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith” (2 Tim. 4:7). It sure sounds to me like he broke a sweat until the very end!
But recently I ran across a verse that indicates the Levites who were called to serve the Lord at the Temple were supposed retire at age 50. In Numbers 8:24-26 we read:
The Lord said to Moses, “This applies to the Levites: Men twenty-five years old or more shall come to take part in the work at the tent of meeting, but at the age of fifty, they must retire from their regular service and work no longer. They may assist their brothers in performing their duties at the tent of meeting, but they themselves must not do the work.”
Hmmm…sounds like retirement to me. Okay, not complete retirement but at least semi-retirement. A helpful book for me has been, Transition Plan by Bob Russell. Bob was pastor of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky for over 30 years. In his book, he offers five reasons every leader should think about what he calls “transitioning” (a much better word than retirement).
- We’re all going to die and therefore it’s wise to think of the next generation.
- We all lose a certain amount of energy and imagination as we age.
- Older leaders eventually lose the ability to inspire younger people.
- When a proper transition is made, the one stepping aside has another chapter of meaningful life to live and is respected in that role.
- Every leader should put the good of the organization above his own interests.
I am 56 years old and I have served at my church for almost 27 years. I am NOT ready for retirement, but it is on my radar screen in the sense that I want to transition well when the time comes. I have been around long enough to see many pastors transition poorly, and I have seen a few transition well. I think this is a subject that churches should be talking about more, especially as baby boomers creep up to what is traditionally considered retirement age.
If we could all finish like John Wooden, who retired after winning another NCAA title at age 65. Until the day he died at age 99, he stayed involved at UCLA and was often quoted and consulted. The opposite of that can be seen in some famous coaches who hang onto their positions into their eighties, lose young recruits and are always looking behind them to see who is trying to get them to step aside.
The Skill of Friendship: Part IV
The fourth skill is the most difficult skill of all—forgiveness. Ray Stedman used to say that there three things that we must do for a friendship to last—forgive, forgive and forgive! Proverbs says the same thing. Look at 17:9: He who covers a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends. Look also at 10:12: Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all transgressions. Both of these proverbs speak of forgiveness in an unusual way. They speak of “covering a transgression.” That doesn’t mean we ignore it; it means we see it and acknowledge it for what it is and by an act of our will we choose to forgive that person and not to make it public. We don’t repeat it; we don’t stir it up so that every angle of the scandal is exposed and every last drop of shame is drawn from the offender. A good friend will try to contain the damage of our sin. She will see all of our quirks and idiosyncrasies and be willing to stay with us and cover them.
Every close friendship progresses to a point where a decision has to be made. Will we cover the offensive actions and annoying traits of that person, and will the relationship then move to a deeper level, or will those things cause us to move away from our friend? Since we’re all sinners every friendship will have to deal with the reality of sin, weakness, failure and conflict. Any friendship that hasn’t had to deal with those things can’t be considered close. Many people get to that point in the friendship and because they’re unwilling to endure through the sin they bail out and move on to the next relationship. But, unless we’re willing to love someone at their very worst we can’t have the very best of friendship.
How are you doing in the skill of friendship? It’s not easy, is it? As a matter of fact, when we start talking about the kind of loyalty and forgiveness described here I would say its virtually impossible in our own strength. But all of this was meant to be a picture of the kind of love God has for us. Remember what Jesus said to his disciples, “No longer do I call you slaves, but I call you friends.” Jesus has given to each one of us the promise of friendship. A friendship in which he displays every one of the skills we’ve talked about this morning—sensitivity, truth, loyalty, and forgiveness. The old hymn says, “I’ve found a friend, O such a friend, he bled, he died, to save me. And not alone the gift of life, but his own self he gave me. Naught that I have my own I call, I hold it for the giver; my heart, my strength, my life, my all are his and his forever.” And here lies the real key to being a friend. To be this kind of friend, we have to know the friendship of God in our hearts.
The Skill of Friendship: Part III
A third skill that’s needed in friendship is loyalty. By the way, we’re progressively moving to a deeper level, and as we do it doesn’t get easier, it gets harder. Proverbs 17:17: A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity. This is a very simple but profound verse. Both lines say essentially the same thing in a different way. A true friend is one who loves us at all times, in every circumstance of life. There is a hint here that the true colors of friendship are seen in the midst of adversity. When our lives are falling apart a true friend will stand with us. Or when our friend has failed, we’ll be their to pick them up.
We have many examples of this kind of loyalty in Scripture. I think of how Jonathan was a friend for David in a time of need. He went out of his way to help when David was in danger of being killed by King Saul, who happened to be Jonathan’s father! I think of Barnabas who proved to be a friend to the apostle Paul after his conversion when the rest of the apostles were ready to turn him away. It’s not easy to be a friend like that and it’s not easy to find a friend like that. It means moving beyond friendship that’s rooted in enjoyment or convenience to one that’s rooted in the raw will to love. It requires tenacity to stay with someone when there isn’t anything left in it for you.
The Skill of Friendship: Part II
The second skill is truth-telling. Healthy friendships are based on truth, even if it hurts. Proverbs 27:5-6: Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. These two proverbs speak of the need for truth-telling that’s sometimes painful in a genuine friendship. An open rebuke is better than concealed love. Concealed love refuses to show itself by saying something that’s needed but possibly hurtful, and that really isn’t love at all. It’s soft love; it’s morally useless love; it’s love that isn’t tuff enough to say something to a person when their behavior is destroying themselves and everyone around them. But “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” A friend who will tell you the truth, even when it might wound you, is precious. Their willingness to wound you is born out of faithfulness to you. It doesn’t always feel that way. Nobody likes to be wounded. But, it’s true.
This is an aspect of friendship that we have to be willing to both give and receive. If you have a friend in your life who cares for you and comes to you and tells you something about yourself that’s hard for you to hear then thank God for that person and take what they say seriously. We say we want to grow in our faith; we want God to direct us; this is often how God does it. He puts a friend in our path who loves us enough to reflect back to us some of the things about ourselves, some of the choices we’re making, that are unwise. Sure, sometimes we have to consider the source, but more often we should consider the criticism, and if we hear it from more than one person, consider it even more. An old Yiddish proverb says, “If one man calls you an ass, pay him no mind. But if two men call you an ass, put on a saddle.”
The Skill of Friendship: Part I
Friendship is crucial for us to be the people God has called us to be. But what does it take to be a friend? I have over 600 “friends” on Facebook, but what does that mean? Studies show we have less people we can really confide in than past generations. Our society does very little to help us in this area. Fifteen year-olds spend months learning how to drive but rarely learn how to be a friend. College students spend years learning the skills of engineering or business but the skill of friendship is left up to osmosis. We have a generation of people who aren’t succeeding in this area and it affects everything. How can we learn the skill of friendship? There is no better place to learn about friendship than the book of Proverbs. Proverbs has taught me at least four skills that are required to be a friend.
First, there is a need for sensitivity. We’re talking here about being sensitive to what’s appropriate or offensive. Proverbs 25:17 says, Let your foot be rarely in your neighbor’s house, Lest he become weary of you and hate you. Here is a warning against wearing out your welcome. Don’t be in your friend’s house too much because sooner or later he’ll get sick of you and loathe the sound of your voice at the door. It doesn’t say that we shouldn’t ever be in our friend’s house, but don’t overdo it. It helps to understand that culture. In that culture hosts were obligated to welcome and provide for guests, even if they resented it. It’s the same thing in many countries today. In my travels in Eastern Europe I’ve learned I have to be careful about staying in homes with families. In those cultures they’re expected to go overboard in extending hospitality even if they don’t want to. Often it’s very genuine, but since it’s a cultural expectation you have to be careful not to take advantage because they would NEVER say anything. That’s what this Proverb is talking about–being sensitive to those kinds of issues. Yes, we should show hospitality to one another, but that doesn’t give us the right to take advantage.
Sensitivity is also needed when a friend is hurting. Prov 25:20: Like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar on soda, Is he who sings songs to a troubled heart. Two images are given and they both speak of actions which cause an immediate unpleasant reaction. One who takes a coat off on a cold day immediately reacts to the cold. And the acid in vinegar combined with the alkaline in soda immediately creates a bubbling reaction. When we sing songs to a troubled heart an unpleasant reaction takes place. When a person is hurting, the last thing they need is for someone to come along and try to get them to think positive or to look on the bright side. What they need is for someone to come along side of them and weep with them and be tender with them. George MacDonald writes, “Tears are often the only cure for weeping.”
Meet my Favorite Writer
Every now and then someone will ask me about my favorite writers. Almost always, the first name that comes to mind is Wendell Berry. And most of the time, when I say his name I get a look of confusion, like, who is Wendell Berry?
Wendell Berry is a conservationist, farmer, essayist, novelist, professor of English and poet. He was born in 1934 in Henry County, Kentucky where he now lives on a farm. He earned a bachelor’s degree from the University of Kentucky in 1956. In 1958, he received a Wallace Stegner Fellowship from Stanford University, which is just down the road from where I live. Berry has taught at Stanford and many other universities. He’s the author of more than 40 books. He’s won numerous awards and honors. Although he has written many nonfiction books, my favorites are his fictional Port William series. The New York Times has called Berry the “prophet of rural America.”
I first learned about Wendell Berry from fellow pastor, Eugene Peterson, who writes, “Wendell Berry is a writer from whom I have learned much of my pastoral theology. Berry is a farmer in Kentucky. On this farm, besides plowing fields, planting crops, and working horses, he writes novels and poems and essays. The importance of place is a recurrent theme — place embraced and loved, understood and honored. Whenever Berry writes the word ‘farm,’ I substitute ‘parish’: the sentence works for me every time” (Under the Unpredictable Plant).
Make no mistake, Berry is a farmer and not a pastor, although he does attend a Baptist church. I like Berry as a guide to being a pastor because of this commitment to place. Berry’s character Jayber Crow says, “To feel at home in a place, you have to have some prospect of staying there.” Berry committed to staying on the farm. Somewhere along the way I decided that I needed to do the same — commit to a particular church over the long haul (almost 27 years now). God knows there have been times I tried to leave, but now I would just like to pastor like Wendell Berry farms.
We live in what Berry calls the culture of “the one-night stands,” and pastors are often no different. I realize that God sometimes calls us to move to another church, but many of us will admit that occasionally we move because we’re climbing the evangelical success ladder. Furthermore, to really know how to love, serve and disciple a particular group of people takes awhile. You can’t just take what works somewhere else and use it in your church any more than you can use New England farming methods in California. The soil is just different.
So I encourage you to pick up a Wendell Berry book and give it a read. Whether you are a pastor, a writer or just a lover of good literature you will enjoy Wendell Berry. I suggest you start with Jayber Crow, Hannah Coulter or A Place in Time.
The Church, the State and Gay Marriage
I’ve been thinking a bit about the decision before the Supreme Court regarding gay marriage. I recently read an article by Tony Campolo in which he asked, why is the government at all involved in marrying people? If marriage is a sacred institution, why is the government controlling it, especially in a nation where we believe in separation of church and state?
These are good questions. I’ve been officiating weddings for over 30 years. As part of the ceremony I’ve always said, “And now, by the authority given to me as a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and according to the laws of this state, I do now pronounce you husband and wife.” As far as I know, that’s the only thing I do as a pastor (preaching, praying, leading, counseling, funerals) in which I am required to act as an agent of the state. Campolo asks, “Doesn’t it seem inconsistent that during such a highly religious ceremony, I should have to turn the church into a place where government business is conducted?”
I also fear that someday this could lead to the government dictating to ministers who they can and cannot marry. Recently, I sat with Evangelical believers in the Dominican Republic who have dealt with a similar problem. Historically, in the Dominican Republic, the government stated that only Catholic churches had the authority to officially marry couples. Evangelical Churches could only bless religious marriages after couples had been officially married elsewhere. As a result, many Evangelicals have been forced to live in “common law” marriages without the official sanction of the government. Do we really want the state deciding who can and cannot get married?
Campolo suggests a way out of this apparent conflict and the tough questions being raised about whether our nation should approve of gay marriages. He believes that the government should get out of the business of marrying people and just give legal status to civil unions. This would apply to both gay couples and straight couples, while marriage would be left in the hands of the church. So if a couple wants to be united in the eyes of the law, whether gay or straight, they go down to city hall and register, securing all the rights under the law. But, if the couple wants to be married, they go to a place of worship. Marriage is viewed as an institution ordained by God and is out of the state’s control.
Of course, gay couples could go to churches that support gay marriages and get married there, but those like myself who believe marriage should be between a man and a woman would go to places of worship where conservative beliefs about marriage are upheld. Marriage would be preserved as a sacred institution for all of us who want to view it as such, and nobody’s personal convictions about this controversial issue would need to be compromised.
Read Tony Campolo’s full article.
Holy Week Bible Readings: The Gospel of Matthew
I’ve prepared a devotional guide of Holy Week Bible readings. If you read the passages according to the days of the week, you will gain a richer sense of the atmosphere in Jerusalem starting with Jesus’ triumphal entry and leading up to Jesus’ death and resurrection. All of these readings come from Matthew’s gospel.
Sunday (Palm Sunday)
Jesus enters Jerusalem: Matthew 21.1-11
Monday
Jesus teaches in the Temple: Matthew 21.12-16
Jesus returns to Bethany: Matthew 21.17
Jesus curses the fig tree: Matthew 21.18-19
Tuesday
Jesus teaches about the cursed fig tree: Matthew 21.20-22
Teaching in the Temple: Matthew 21.23-23.39
Jesus teaches outside of the Temple: Matthew 24.1-2
On way to Bethany (Olivet Discourse): Matthew 24.3-26.2
Wednesday
The religious leaders plot: Matthew 26.3-5
Jesus anointed at Bethany: Matthew 26.6-13
Judas joins in the plot: Matthew 26.14-15
Thursday
Preparations for Passover meal: Matthew 26.17-19
Passover meal: Matthew 26.20-30a
On way out of the city: Matthew 26.30b-35
In Gethsemane: Matthew 26.36-45
The arrest of Jesus: Matthew 26.46-56
Trial before Caiphas and Sanhedrin: Matthew 26.57-68
Peter’s denial: Matthew 26.69-75
Friday (Good, or Holy, Friday)
Jesus’ trial before the Sanhedrin: Matthew 27.1-2
The demise of Judas: Matthew 27.3-10
Jesus before Pilate privately: Matthew 27.11-14
Jesus before Pilate: Matthew 27.15-26
The crucifixion of Jesus: Matthew 27.27-56
The burial of Jesus: Matthew 27.57-61
Sunday to the Ascension
The empty tomb: Matthew 28.1-8
The plot of the religious leaders: Matthew 28.11-15
Resurrection appearances of Jesus: Matthew 28.9-10; 16-20
The Cost of Non-Discipleship
Several years ago I compiled a devotional book from Ray Stedman’s writings called The Power of His Presence. I’m delighted that these devotions are now being sent out to over 7,000 people each day on their email through an excellent website called raystedman.org. I am currently writing a second devotional on Ray’s writings that will be available in 2014. I’m constantly amazed at how relevant Ray’s writings still are. As I was reading some material from a sermon Ray did on Jesus’ high priestly prayer in John 17, I ran across this quote that identified for me some of the concerns I have about more than a few best-selling Christian books today:
There are a great many books written about the so-called “cost of discipleship.” They declare, in one way or another, that to have power with God we must pay a high price. In various ways they state that to become a victorious Christian, an effective Christian, requires a difficult and demanding discipline… I must say that I am not impressed with this type of literature at all…. We have gotten the cart before the horse… I do not mean that such an approach is untrue, for the fact is that obedience to God does mean saying, “No” to a lot of other things. You cannot say, “Yes” to the Spirit of God without, at the same time, saying, “No” to many other things: it is simply inherent in the process of decision. Therefore, I do not mean that power with God and living for the glory of God does not indeed cost us certain fancied pleasures and relationships which perhaps we want to hold onto. But the cost of discipleship is not the cost that really ought to concern us. The truly costly thing is the cost of disobedience! There is where the emphasis should be put. I would love to see a book on the cost of rebellion in the Christian life.
How well we know that cost. What a tremendous toll our rebelliousness, our disobedience, our unwillingness to give of ourselves, takes in our lives in terms of frustrated, restless spirits, the shameful, degrading acts that we hope nobody discovers, the skeletons that rattle around in our closets for years, the irritated, vexatious dispositions that keep us in a nervous frenzy all the time, the weak, spineless, crowd-following ways that we frequently exhibit, the self-righteous, smug, religiosity which we call Christianity that is a stench in the nostrils of the world and an offense unto God and men. Where do these things come from? Are they not the terrible price that we pay for a rebellious spirit, for an unwillingness to yield ourselves to the Lordship of Christ? We are not our own, we say, but we still cling to the right to run our own lives and make our own decisions, to choose our own pleasures and to go where we will and do what we want, and we cover it over with reserved, pious religiosity! We say we want to do God’s will — as long as it is what we want to do. At the center of our lives Self is still king, and that is the problem. Our own glory is in view. We still want what we want and we are not willing as Jesus was, to walk in glad obedience.
Mark S. Mitchell 