Mark S. Mitchell

Pastor, Writer, Follower of Jesus

Category Archives: Local Church


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A Stranger in the House of God

Have you ever felt like a stranger in the house of God? If you have, I’d like you to meet a friend of mine.

His name is John Koessler. John is the chair of the Pastoral Studies Department at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago. He’s the author of several books, including True Discipleship and the award winning Folly, Grace and Power.  John also writes a regular column for Moody called Theology Matters. I am stoked because John will be our Men’s Retreat speaker this year at Mt. Hermon on February 22-24. He will speak on The Surprising Grace of Disappointment.

I discovered John about 18 months ago while on sabbatical. A friend suggested I read John’s memoir, A Stranger in the House of God. In this well-written book, John shares his own coming-of-age and coming-to-faith story. He’s disarmingly transparent and humorous, at first curiously observing people of faith as an outsider, then eventually sharing spiritual insights while never positioning himself above his readers.  A Stranger in the House of God addresses basic questions and struggles faced by seekers and believers alike, tracing the author’s journey through Catholicism and various tribes within evangelical Christianity. It also describes his transformation from religious outsider to pastor and professor.

I’m excited that John will be with us not only for the Men’s Retreat but also on February 21-22 to address our pastors and directors at CPC about cultivating the life of the mind. If you would like to find out more about John you can go to his website.


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How Faith Grows

I’ve been reading a book by Andy Stanley called Deep and Wide. The sub-title is Creating churches unchurched people love to attend. I don’t agree with everything in the book, but it’s a good book that I’ve found helpful.

Andy is the Pastor at North Point Church in Atlanta. Their mission statement is: to lead people into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ. After much thinking and praying, they also decided that faith is what grows in a growing relationship. Specifically, confidence in God. Confidence that God is who he says he is and that he will do what he has promised to do.

But then they took this even further and came up with five faith catalysts; five things that God uses to grow a person’s faith. Everything they do in that church revolves around at least one of these catalysts. They are:

  • Practical Bible Teaching: The emphasis here isn’t on knowing the Bible but understanding how the Bible affects the way we live our lives. Stanley believes topical sermons achieve this the best. I happen to disagree and believe expository preaching is more effective when done well.
  • Private Spiritual Disciplines: When people develop a private devotional life (prayer, reading and memorizing the Bible, etc.) they experience intimacy and accountability in their faith walks.
  • Personal Ministry: When people overcome their fears and step into personal ministry such as a short term missions trip, leading a children’s small group or sharing their faith story in front of a group of high school students, their confidence in God grows. Few things stretch our faith like jumping into a ministry environment where we feel unprepared and seeing God come through.
  • Providential Relationships: When people tell their own faith stories, they always share about the individuals that God placed in their path to help them grow. When we hear from God through someone else or when we see God in someone else, our faith gets bigger.
  • Pivotal Circumstances: We often call these “defining moments”. These include times of blessing as well as times of trial and disappointment. The key here is learning to interpret these events through a biblical worldview.

Take some time and think about how each one of these has contributed to your own faith journey. I find these five catalysts very helpful in thinking through what we do as a church to help people grow. Are we providing a context in which these five things are nurtured and experienced?


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Should I have a Quiet Time?

How important is it for believers to spend time alone with God? As you can tell from what I write below, I believe it’s worth the effort. Since New Year’s is typically a time many of us make renewed commitments to do such things, I’d like to offer a few thoughts that might help.

As I observe the life of Jesus, I see even He needed time alone with the Father. The Gospels confirm He had a lifelong practice of withdrawing from people to be with God (Luke 5:16). While it doesn’t say He was regimented about when He did it and for how long, it’s clear He did this with regularity. He even appeared to have a special place. His times with God were not cluttered with a list of things to do; they reflect a remarkable simplicity. He simply would spend time away from the crowds in prayer. I have no doubt that this prayer involved both pouring His needs and concerns out to His Father, as well as listening to what the Father was saying to Him as He reflected on the Scripture and listened to the Spirit’s prompting in His own heart. One of the most remarkable things about this is that He often withdrew when the demands upon His life were the greatest. While I so often use the demands on my life as an excuse for putting this time off, Jesus saw them as reasons to pursue God more intently.

Each of us needs to find our own devotional style; one that fits with the particular rhythms of our own life. There is no one right time, place, or way to have a quiet time. Many people have found early in the morning is the best time for them because it sets the tone for the entire day. Others can’t see beyond their coffee cup or crying infant in the morning and choose to snatch some time in the midday or evening. It will help a great deal if you have a place where you can truly be alone and free to express yourself to the Lord without fear of being walked in on. Whatever you do, simple prayer along with reading and meditating upon God’s word ought to be the center of this time. Many people have also found that it’s helpful to write down their thoughts, prayers and revelations in a journal. I suggest you try to think creatively about this time too. Some of us need to get out of a routine that has become dry and lifeless. I have often broken the routine by taking “prayer walks” where I spend an extended time praying, singing, weeping, and worshipping the Lord on a nearby trail.

Don’t place yourself under an impossible burden of having to meet with God too early or for too long. The need for discipline in this area can easily become a source of condemnation, especially for those performance—oriented types like myself. Remember that you’re cultivating a relationship, not trying to set a record or impress someone! It’s God who draws you near, not your own spiritual heroism. There will be days when you daydream more than pray. There will be days when you miss. When you come to Him after a series of missed days, just thank Him that He has continued to draw you near and enjoy His welcome.

Be careful about your expectations for this time. Don’t expect the Lord to give you some “lightning bolt” experience in each quiet time. Just as in any relationship, there will be times when you feel close and there will be times when you feel distant and can’t seem to connect. Don’t get discouraged! Keep pursuing Him! Keep showing up! It’s a process. Like putting pennies in the bank, over time, you’ll notice a difference. You will notice yourself practicing and enjoying His presence throughout the day. You will walk together as familiar friends rather than estranged former acquaintances.

I can’t remember who it was that first encouraged me to have a quiet time, but for them I am grateful. Some have let this practice go after repeated attempts and failures. Others are struggling to keep it consistent. Still others are hearing about this for the first time. Whatever your own situation is, commit yourself afresh to spending your best time each day with God. May it be said of us as it was said of Him: “But He Himself would often slip away to the wilderness to pray.” Luke 5:16


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When Tragedy Strikes

I’m so sad about the tragedy that took place in Connecticut today. I can’t imagine the pain those families are experiencing. In our humanity, it’s normal for us to ask “Why?”. In our humanity, it’s normal for us to wonder how God could allow such a thing to happen. I really don’t have any answers, but I’m comforted to know that in the midst of such pain, God understands and offers Himself.

John Stott once wrote, “I could never believe in God if it weren’t for the cross.” His short story, The Long Silence, explains:

At the end of time billions of people were scattered on a great plain before God’s throne. Most shrank back but some near the front talked heatedly with belligerence.

“Can God judge us? How can he know about suffering?” snapped a pert young brunette. She ripped open a sleeve to reveal a tattooed number from a Nazi concentration camp. “We endured horror…beatings…torture…death.”

In another group, an African-American young man lowered his collar. “What about this?” he demanded, showing an ugly rope burn, “Lynched for no crime but being black!”

Far out across the plain there were hundreds of such groups. Each had a complaint against God for the evil and suffering he permitted in this world. How lucky God was to live in heaven where all was sweetness and light, where there was no weeping or fear, hunger or hatred. “What did God know of all people had been forced to endure in this world? God leads a pretty sheltered life,” they said.

So each of these groups sent forth their leader, chosen because he had suffered most. A Jew, an African-American, a person from Hiroshima, a horribly deformed child. In the center of the plain they consulted with each other. At last they were ready to present their case and it was rather clever.

Before God could qualify to be their judge he must endure what they endured. Their decision was that God would be sentenced to live on earth as a man.

“Let him be born a Jew. Let the legitimacy of his birth be doubted. Give him work to do that even his family will think he is out of his mind to try to do it. Let him be betrayed by his closest friends. Let him face false charges, be tried by a prejudiced jury, and convicted by a cowardly judge. Let him be tortured. At last, let him see what it means to be terribly alone. Then let him die. Let him die so that there can be no doubt that he died.”

As each leader announced his portion of the sentence, loud murmurs of approval went up from the throng of people assembled. And when the last had finished pronouncing the sentence, there was a long silence. No one uttered another word. No one moved. Suddenly they all knew that God had served his sentence.

At times like this, we can come to Him with our fear, our grief, our confusion and even our anger. He may not give us a list of answers, but He will give us Himself.


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Guidelines for Sexual Purity Among Staff

At the church I serve in, we’ve carved out some basic guidelines for our staff to encourage purity and to avoid even the appearance of evil. While we want to avoid legalism, we came up with the following parameters. By the way, these are not addressing any specific situations that are taking place right now. Most of these apply to both married and single people, but there’s probably some variation in how they are applied in each case:

  1. A church leader should not travel alone in a car with a member of the opposite sex, other than a spouse, except in cases of emergency.
  2. When at a restaurant or coffee joint with a member of the opposite sex, try to make it with at least with three people.
  3. Counseling members of the opposite sex should be limited to three sessions and should never be done at night or any time that another adult is not in an adjacent room. If the nature of the meeting allows it, keep the door open.
  4. Never enter the home of a member of the opposite sex when no one else is present. (The very sick or elderly are an exemption.)
  5. Since most affairs begin with conversation, avoid suggestive comments and any discussion of intimate subjects with members of the opposite sex. This includes email, texting and social media.
  6. Avoid inappropriate touching or suggestive hugging of members of the opposite sex. Use wise judgment to discern what is proper.
  7. Avoid suggestive clothing. 1 Timothy 2:9 tells us our clothing should be respectable and modest.
  8. When traveling out of town, try to avoid going alone, and don’t travel alone with a member of the opposite sex. Stay accountable with at least one other person about your conduct during the trip.

 

These guidelines may seem rigid, but I can’t help but think of what Paul wrote, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving” (Ephesians 5:3-4).


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Sobering Up for Christmas

Just a few weeks ago I was driving to work. As usual, I was absorbed in my own thoughts about what the morning would entail, but as I peeked in my rear view mirror I saw these flashing lights on top of that car going round and round. As you can imagine, my heart started pounding, and though I hadn’t been speeding, my foot backed off the accelerator. My mind immediately began to race with the different possibilities of what I had done wrong. I started thinking of ways I could artfully let him know that I was a pastor on my way to some kind of emergency. It turns out I had rolled through a stop sign and the officer was kind enough to just give me a warning. I drove away with a sigh of relief, and was extra careful to make a full stop at every stop sign. Seeing those flashing lights always changes the way you drive. It’s a sobering experience. It snaps us back to attention and causes us to make the changes that need to be made.

This kind of experience describes how we ought to prepare for Christmas. Most of us get excited about Christmas; some of us dread it, but either way, there needs to be a sobering up. There needs to be a snapping to attention. There needs to be a willingness to straighten up and make whatever changes are needed in our lives. Most of us wait until January 1 for that kind of thing, but the time is now.

For centuries, the Christian church has called this season leading up to Christmas, Advent. Advent has always been viewed as both a time of anticipation and preparation for the coming of Christ. During Advent, we anticipate both the first and second comings of Christ. Certainly this brings hope and expectation because the coming of Christ means salvation for those who trust in Him. But the coming of Christ also requires preparation; it requires a kind of sobering up; it’s like looking in the rear view mirror and seeing the flashing lights. It ought to cause us to look at our lives and make the changes that need to be made in order to be ready. Imagine what you might do for the next three weeks if you knew Christ would actually come back on December 25. How would you prepare for that day? How would your shopping list change? Would you eat too much and run too fast or would you take the foot off the accelerator and sober up? Advent is a time to snap back to attention.

Of all the Gospel writers, Luke is tuned in the most to this idea of preparation. Luke believed that when God made a flesh and blood appearance in the world preparation was required. You can see it by the way he wrote his book. His book, like the other Gospels, is about Jesus Christ. But Luke takes longer than any other Gospel writer to get to the life of Christ. It takes him 80 verses just to get to Christ’s birth. And then it takes him 70 verses just to get to Christ’s ministry. Luke believes that anything worthwhile is worth preparing for.

How does he prepare us? He prepares us by giving us a snapshot of one very important person. John the Baptist’s singular mission was to prepare the way for Jesus. How did he do that? Luke says “he preached a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins.” What is repentance? We think of this word exclusively in religious terms, but back then repentance wasn’t a religious word. It was part of a culture where people lived with no street signs or maps. It’s easy to get lost walking through the wilderness. You walk and walk and then you realize that the countryside is unfamiliar. You finally say to yourself, “I’m going in the wrong direction. I need to turn around.” That’s repentance. Not only do you see you’re going in the wrong direction, but you turn around.

A number of years ago I was working at a church in Pleasanton. I was going through a time of deep burnout. I was spiritually dry and not sure I could keep going. In the midst of that time we went down to San Diego to visit family. While we were there we attended church with them. When pastors go to other churches we like to check things out. We like to sit back and critique the music and grade the preaching. But on this particular Sunday I was caught completely off guard. The preacher started to preach and I started to melt. He was speaking about how we can give and give and yet neglect the necessity of allowing the Lord to fill our lives. He was speaking to me. At the end of his sermon he held up a half empty glass of water. He wanted to know if anyone there felt a need to just be filled up again with the Lord. He wanted us to come forward. I sat there and thought of a hundred reasons NOT to go forward. Among those reasons was the simple fact that I was a pastor. Pastors don’t go forward! We don’t walk the aisle! We know the Lord. We know His Word. We teach others this stuff; why should we go forward? I was fighting the Lord at that moment, and I lost. I finally got up and went forward. I cried and I got prayed for and the Lord restored me. It was one of the most humbling things I’ve ever done. That’s repentance!

John prepared the way for the coming of Christ by calling us to humble ourselves and repent. John’s message was like seeing the police car lights flashing as you’re driving along thinking that everything is going fine. His message ought to cause our hearts to pound and our feet to back off the accelerator. But John’s ultimate purpose was not to condemn us or judge us, but to prepare us for the one who could save us. But we can’t be saved unless we come to this place where we realize we have been going in the wrong direction and we need to be washed.

How do we get ready for Christmas? How do we prepare for the coming of God’s Son into the world? By recognizing that perhaps we’ve been going in the wrong direction. By humbling ourselves and admitting to God and to others that we need to be washed. By beginning to turn outward in a spirit of generosity. Don’t wait until January 1 to do this. New Year’s is not the time to change your direction. New Year’s is too late. The time to turn around is now. Advent is the time.


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Converge

One of the things my wife Lynn and I have a passion for is helping young couples establish a healthy marriage. Three months ago, we started a new ministry at CPC called Converge. Converge is an informal, once-a-month meeting, open to any young couple in their 20’s and 30’s. We meet in a home, hang out, have a potluck style dinner, and take some time as a group to discuss different aspects of marriage and family. Our desire is to provide a setting where young couples can connect and build community with one another, as well as learn from a “mature” (that’s a nice word for “older”) couple who shares a bit about their own marriage.

Last Saturday night we squeezed 52 people into our house in San Carlos. We had a great discussion about how to handle the holidays as a young couple. This is an area that can often be a source of struggle for young marrieds and it was great to learn from one another some of the ways we have handled this, especially as it relates to in-laws. I found a decent article on the Focus on the Family website that deals with this very issue. Here is the link: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/communication_and_conflict/inlaw_relationships/holidays_and_the_inlaws.aspx

If you would like to attend Converge, or you know a young couple who might benefit from this ministry, contact my assistant, Mike Northcote at mnorthcote@cpcfc.org. Mike is the ”go to” guy for this ministry and he and his wife, Megan, have done an amazing job at organizing it. We are taking the month of December off but will reconvene on January 25, 2013.


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Standing the Strain

In my last blog post, I promised I’d share more about why I believe shared elder leadership is the right way to lead a church. The most obvious reason is that I believe it is biblical. For now, I won’t try to prove that, but it’s worth mentioning that not everyone agrees. Many seminaries teach pastors that there’s really no one model of church government in the bible. As a result, some churches are organized more like a business than a church. I think the church suffers as a result.

From a purely practical standpoint, I simply can’t imagine all of the responsibilities for leading a church being placed on the shoulders of one man. Shared leadership lightens the load. We see this principle at work at an important juncture in the history of Israel. Moses was leading the people of Israel through the wilderness. There were a lot of them! We’re talking 600,000 men, plus women and children (Exodus 12:37-38)! Each day Moses took his seat to serve as judge for the people. One by one they’d come to dump their problems on him and he’d render a judgment. When his father-in-law Jethro paid him a visit, he wisely questioned Moses, “Why are you doing this all by yourself?” 

That’s a good question! It would be appropriate to direct this same question to many pastors who insist on being the sole decision makers in their church. Perhaps they’d answer in a similar way as Moses. I can imagine Moses shrugging his shoulders as he explained to Jethro how the people came to him with their disputes to seek God’s will and it was his job to decide who was right based on God’s word. It seems Moses felt he was the only one who knew God’s word well enough to make an informed judgment.

But Jethro wasn’t buying it. With words that have become legendary in leadership circles, he confronted Moses: “What you are doing is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.” He went on and advised him to select capable, godly men, teach them God’s word and show them how to live it out. The most difficult cases would still come to Moses who would bring them before the Lord. Jethro concluded, “That will make your load lighter, because they will share it with you. If you do this and God so commands, you will be able to stand the strain, and all these people will go home satisfied” (Exodus 18:17-23).

We can all see the wisdom of Jethro’s advice, and Moses was smart enough and humble enough to put it into practice. Who knows how long he’d have lasted in the wilderness if he insisted on doing it all himself!

Shared leadership in a church lightens the load on those in leadership. Instead of wearing out, leaders are able to “stand the strain.” It’s not just a matter of spreading the work around, it’s also having others to share the emotional burden.

Shepherding God’s people is hard work. It takes a toll both physically and emotionally. Consider the sheer variety of things a pastor does in a given week: long hours of study, preaching, leading meetings, counseling, prayer, strategic planning and far too many potluck dinners! Pastors need others to bear the load.

Not only will this help them “stand the strain,” it will also increase effectiveness. Jethro said something to Moses that’s easy to miss. He implied Moses wasn’t doing a very good job all by himself. Why else would he say, “If you do this…all these people will go home satisfied.” It seems to me that when Moses was trying to do it all himself, they weren’t satisfied. It’s no wonder! When you spread one guy that thin, how can he possibly be effective?

Without a doubt, the Apostle Paul’s favorite metaphor for the church was the Body of Christ. Like a body, the church is one with many members. “Just as the body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ” (1 Corinthians 12:12). Paul usually discusses spiritual gifts in this context. As members of Christ’s body, no one man has all the gifts. Having a group of elders to lead a church under the headship of Christ allows for a variety of gifts to be modeled, utilized and valued. Furthermore, as elders work together in the shepherding of God’s people, the larger body has a chance to see the beauty of both unity and diversity at work within the elder team itself.


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The Guts and Glory of being an Elder

One of the greatest joys in my 26 years of ministry at Central Peninsula Church has been working side by side with our team of elders. Together we have over 100 years of experience serving as elders. That means besides growing old together, these guys are my friends. We hang out together. We have fun together. We laugh a lot and shed a few tears. We support each other through personal struggles and losses. We confess our sins to each other and pray for one another.

When I try to assess a person’s character I sometimes ask myself, would I want to go to war with this guy? Would I want this guy covering my back on a beachhead landing like the one at Normandy? I can honestly say I’d gladly go to battle with any one of our elders.

And it IS a battle! Being an elder isn’t a glamour job. There are no perks; no fringe benefits. Each one of them and their families pay a steep price. They pay with their time. They commit enough hours and days a year for it to be considered a part-time job, but there’s no paycheck at the end of the month. They commit nights and weekends; our meetings often last until midnight. One of our elders regularly gets up at 4:30 am for work the next day, and sometimes he even drags himself straight to work from our meeting! Being an elder cuts into family time, work time and leisure time.

They pay in other ways too. We commit ourselves to rigorous accountability where we give each other the right to ask hard questions. We’ve made a commitment not to hide. We’ll tell each other the truth about ourselves, even when it’s ugly. Sometimes they pay with their friendships. Often, an elder has to make tough decisions that people don’t agree with or think is fair. Most of these men have lost at least one good friend as a result of being an elder. Those losses cut deeply, not just into their own hearts but into the hearts of their wives and kids. Perhaps the steepest price they pay is an emotional one. Like the ancient High Priest wore on his breastplate the names of the 12 tribes of Israel, these men carry the brokenness, pain and sin of many on their hearts, and it takes a toll.

I will share more in an upcoming blog post about why I believe shared elder leadership is the right way to lead a church. For now, I just want to say how thankful I am for the elders of CPC. I look forward to the day when Peter’s words about faithful elders are fulfilled: “And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away” (1 Peter 5:4).


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When God Shows Up

This Sunday I’m preaching from 1 Kings 8 on the dedication of the Temple. The chapter is really all about worship. At one point, after the ark is brought into the Temple, the glory of the Lord fills the Temple and the priests were so overwhelmed they “could not perform their service.” I find this rather funny! God shows up and the ministers are dumbfounded; paralyzed by his presence! It’s like they were fine as long as God was way up there, but as soon as he showed up they didn’t know what to do. They’d been playing with the idea of God for so long they were stunned when the real thing showed up!

As I was thinking about this, I ran across something by one of my all time favorite writers – Daniel Taylor. In his book, Letters to my Children, his son Matthew asks, “Church is getting boring. Why do we have to go to church?” Taylor’s reply to his son helps me understand a little better why church is sometimes a far cry from what happened that day long ago when Solomon dedicated the Temple:

Think about it. If a friend called and said a famous athlete or singer was going to be at his house, and asked if you wanted to come over, wouldn’t you go? Wouldn’t you be excited? Of course! So would I.

Well, church is the place where God will be, every time you go. Of course he’s with you whether you’re in church or not, but he can be there in a special way when many believers gather to celebrate him together.

“Sounds great,” I hear you saying, “but then how come you fell asleep so much? If God is really there, I mean really there, then how come we aren’t bug-eyed and breathless most all the time?”

That’s a very good question. I wish I had a very good answer. Part of it is that God knows we can’t take very much of him. It’s like when you hold Fluffs, our hamster. If you squeezed very hard, Fluffs would be on his way to hamster heaven. You have to hold him gently, talk to him quietly. Well, God has to be sort of like that with us.

Truthfully, though, the biggest reason might be that we don’t want very much of God. We want God to stay in his cage like Fluffs does. We’re afraid of losing control of our own lives. We just want him to help us a little here, and forgive us a little there, and let us handle the rest. And so we try to make church a safe place where we can get a little bit of God but not too much.

We don’t like surprises, not even from God, so we make our churches places where surprises aren’t likely to happen. We ask God to come, but only if he will be polite. And therefore, little kids and adult kids often fall asleep—even if they keep their eyes open.

And yet, at the very same time, church is a wonderful place. God has chosen it, “sorry-ness” and all, to be the place where he will meet his people, the place from which he will send his people to all parts of the world to preach the good news about Him. 

Daniel Taylor, Letters to My Children (InterVarsity Press, 1999), pp. 64-65